When you are considering the criteria for
a new partner most people have an age bracket in mind – usually within a few
years of their own age but can large age gaps work just as well?
More so now than ever before it is hard to tell
how old someone is. There have been huge advances in technology in the world of
cosmetic surgery and dentistry and every week there is some new age-defying
product on the market. With a good diet, exercise and improved standards of
living it is quite possible for someone to stay looking youthful well into
middle age.
Age isn’t just about how many years you have
lived, but
your attitude, outlook and perspective all contribute to how young or old you appear to others. Someone of 55 can still have the looks and vitality of someone of 40 and if they have a positive outlook and optimistic attitude that could be more compatible with someone in their early 40s rather than someone of their own age. Myself is an example of this…… some of my friends such as Victor, Tosin, Idowu and Yomi, are all younger than i do but I found it very easy to move with them; don’t even mind me because my behavior doesn’t mind people of my age of lower age; my stature is not even close to my age……………. Wait a minute, we are talking of opposite sex relationship but never mind its part of it……………..
your attitude, outlook and perspective all contribute to how young or old you appear to others. Someone of 55 can still have the looks and vitality of someone of 40 and if they have a positive outlook and optimistic attitude that could be more compatible with someone in their early 40s rather than someone of their own age. Myself is an example of this…… some of my friends such as Victor, Tosin, Idowu and Yomi, are all younger than i do but I found it very easy to move with them; don’t even mind me because my behavior doesn’t mind people of my age of lower age; my stature is not even close to my age……………. Wait a minute, we are talking of opposite sex relationship but never mind its part of it……………..
Here are the collations of thought of some of the
guys out there on this issue:
Let look at whether age gaps matter in our modern
liberal society and whether it is still a useful criterion to use when
searching for matches.
Socially acceptable
Older men have always dated much younger women
and it rarely raises an eyebrow. Dating someone
younger makes men feel younger themselves and is commonly regarded as a symbol
of continuing vitality.
Recently there has been an increase in older
women dating much younger men and in the celebrity world this kind of
partnership will usually make the headlines. Having a much younger male partner
can bring up insecurities in a woman and add pressure to preserve her looks for
the fear that her partner might be more attracted to someone of his own age.
The majority of people tend to be with a partner
who is within 10 years of their own age but there are examples of successful
marriages where the age gap is as much as 30 years – these are rare and the age
gap is likely to become more problematic the larger it is. But in my own
opinion I will rather advise older men to get into relationship with younger
women rather than the opposite.
Considerations
If you want to start a family then the age of
your partner is going to be extremely important and not just for the woman. A
woman’s chances of conceiving a child start to diminish after the age of 35 so
clearly a man looking for a match to have children with would be looking for
someone younger but age is also a factor for a man. Even though biologically a
man can father children well into his 60s there are other things to be taken
into consideration. If a man doesn’t become a father until he is 55 he will be
73 by the time the child reaches adulthood. Ill health, retirement and other
issues that arise in later life can all affect how well someone can cope with
the challenges of raising a family; especially in Nigeria of today where
poverty has become part and passel of their daily activities, the man may not
live to eat the fruit of his labour as the average living age of a typical
Nigerian is even 70s.
If you don’t want to have children then the other
thing to consider is how much an age difference might affect someone’s values,
beliefs and cultural interests and how this might impact on your relationship.
If someone is 25 years older, they are effectively from a different generation
which could create potential conflict when it comes to negotiating important
aspects of their relationship.
You need to decide for yourself what the
acceptable age difference to you is. There are some people who are always
attracted to younger or older people because they feel they fit in more with
that age bracket and of course the things you need to take into consideration
will be unique with every match you meet regardless of their age.
As time goes on
It is important to remember that an age difference
in earlier life may not seem problematic but it may become so later on. A 35
year old with a 55 year old may be perfectly happy and compatible. As they age,
and have to face all the challenges that brings, the age difference could
potentially become a bigger problem. A 65 year old will probably be considering
retirement and may be looking forward to some free time to pursue hobbies and
ambitions – an 85 year old will have very different preoccupations.
An open mind
Just like every other aspect of the dating
process it is important to be flexible and to keep an open mind when it comes
to age. What 40 looks like on some people will be very different from how it
looks on others. Emotional maturity brings with it the qualities needed for a
healthy relationship and that often has no bearing on real age.
Don’t ever lie about your age. Any relationship that has a foundation of dishonesty will sooner or later lose its stability.
Don’t ever lie about your age. Any relationship that has a foundation of dishonesty will sooner or later lose its stability.
In
conclusion, I will advise you as a man to think about the future before you
made up your mind on getting married with an older woman. I would have even say
that “though age and love are different entities” but it goes a long way to
determine the future, and also don’t married someone because you don’t want to
hurt him or her, for if you avoid it now then you are risking and hurting your
future.
Don’t ever go into partnership out of pitying
the guy or the girl; that is not real love. Remember God is the only one that
possess true love, that means “to err is Human and to forgive is divine”, so
don’t expect a very perfect relationship from anybody. Always look unto God the
author and the finisher of faith……………………………………………………… age difference is nothing
when there is love but think about the future if that same love can still
continue even after that time when your partner may no longer be active and you
are still agile?
As always I love to read your comments so please feel
free to share your thoughts as this is how we all learn.as before, your comments and opinions are essential.
yours
Fortune
+2347044145071
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