CREATING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP (2)

Your brothers and sisters can upset you sometimes. You may get angry if they take something that is yours, go into your room, hit you, or bother you when you have friends over. Your older brothers or sisters may try to boss you around and tell you what to do. Your younger brothers or sisters may borrow your things or want to be around you all the time.
When you argue with your friends, you can go home and get away from them. But, when you argue with a brother or sister, they are in your house and you may feel like you can't get away from them. It’s normal to get angry and upset with your brothers and sisters. However, it's not OK to hurt them. Talking things out and coming up with rules that you and your brothers and sisters agree on will make living together a lot easier.
Healthy dating relationships should start with the same ingredients that healthy friendships have, such as good communication, honesty, and respect. Dating relationships are a little different because they may include physical affection, like hugging, kissing, or holding hands. As with all relationships, it may be tempting at first for you to spend all of your time with your new partner. But, making special time to spend together and apart means that you will be able to work on having a healthy relationship with the person you are dating and with other people in your life, like your friends and family.

You should NEVER feel pressured to do something that you don't want to do. He/she should always respect your right to say no to anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It is important that you are both clear with each other about your values and your limits from the start. By talking about how each of you feel about a lot of things, you may avoid getting into situations where you are pressured into making a decision on the spot about something very important.

Here are some tips for starting a healthy dating relationship and ways to stay safe:
  • Get to know a person by talking on the phone or at school before you go out with them for the first time.
  • Go out with a group of friends to a public place the first few times you are spending time together.
  • Plan fun activities like going to the movies, a picnic, the mall, a walk, etc.
  • Be clear with the other person about what you feel comfortable doing and what time your parent(s) or guardian(s) expect you to be home.
Tell at least one friend and especially your parent(s) where you are going, who you will be with, and how to reach you.

Dating relationships can be a fun and exciting part of your life now. They may be a little confusing, especially if dating is new to you. Once you know that the person that you like, likes you too, you may be unsure of what to do next. You can start by learning about what makes a dating relationship healthy. The most important thing to remember is staying safe, especially when you begin to date.
Friendships can be complicated at this time in your life. You may be making new friends while you are trying to keep old friends. One thing that can make any relationship complicated is peer pressure. Peer pressure is when you chose to do something you usually wouldn't do, or you stop doing something that you normally would do because you are worried about what your friends will think. Some friends may pressure you to do something because "everyone else does it," such as making fun of someone. One of the biggest challenges that you may have to face is standing up to a friend.

Here are tips to help you handle a disagreement with a friend:
  • You always have the right to say "no" to your friend whenever you want to. In a healthy friendship, you should not be afraid of losing a friend because you say "no." Good friends should respect your right to say no about anything and not give you a hard time. It is important that you show your friend the same respect when they say no to you.
  • If you and your friend disagree about something or have an argument, it does not mean that you have an unhealthy relationship. It’s normal to feel upset when you disagree with a friend. The most important thing to remember is how you communicate your disagreement. You won't always agree with what your friend has to say. As long as you and your friend can talk to one another and listen to what each person has to say, you should be able to work through a disagreement. Healthy friendships involve trust and being able to respect each other's differences.
The friends that you make and the relationships you develop will help you learn a lot about yourself. Your friendships may be the most important thing to you right now. You will find out what things you like to do together but more importantly, you will learn about the kind of friends you want to have and the kind of friend you want to be to others.

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